Why do managers avoid confrontation with employees?

Most people dislike confrontation in their lives – in their personal lives or in their workplace – although we’ve all met people who seem to thrive on it.

Most people are not skilled in handling confrontation and conflict. However, the development of these skills is essential for all managers. Any manager who works with people will, at some time, feel they need training in resolving conflict and dealing with conformation, whether it’s a short training class, a seminars or a program of practical workshops.

In any event, turning a blind eye to conflict isn’t an option.

There is potential for confrontations in every situation where people interact – at work, at home and with family. Generally, people have limited experience of resolving conflict. Strategies you use in your personal life may not be strategies which are directly transferable to a work situation.

A manager needs a variety of styles and options to draw upon which suit the problem of the day and the people involved in the issues.

Turning a blind eye is never an option when there is confrontation and conflict in the workplace. There are no exceptions. Conflict can be ruinous to a team if it goes unresolved and will influence the productivity of a team. There are well documented examples of a team being directly influenced, becoming de-motivated which results in a project being sabotaged by conflict.

It’s a manager’s job to sort it out and team members rightly expect a manager to show leadership in doing that. Many managers have lost the respect of their team because they shirk their management responsibilities in this area. Unresolved conflict can become toxic.

Even if the situation is one where everyone knows that a conflict between two people is entirely personal, the manager cannot turn a blind eye. The manager must tell the people involved to work out their differences – outside of work hours – and that if they don’t resolve their difficulties; action will have to be taken by the manager.

Conflict can be good. I know that’s likely to come as a surprising statement but if conflict leads to improvement and change and is well managed, the people involved can, ultimately, be glad the conflict happened.

Most people and most managers have limited experience in how to manage conflict in teams and what experience they do have is usually based on experience from their personal lives – as children and as adults. At home people may be used to arguments involving some shouting and then perhaps the combatants spend time on their own to calm down, maybe one person goes out to the garage while the other stomps around the house or plays computer games for an hour or so. This is completely inappropriate and unhelpful in the workplace and to be avoided.

In a busy work life, it may be hard to search out and schedule program of training. Training programs are often at inconvenient times and seem never to be scheduled when the need for training is most needed.

At home, family understand you and maybe you know they’ll take no notice of your grumpiness today because they know you’re in a bad mood already because of something else – they’re willing to cut you some slack. In the workplace only adult behavior in dealing with confrontation and conflict is acceptable and appropriate.

There are very few problems which can’t be improved and resolved completely by the parties involved coming around a table for a calm discussion (with a mug of tea is best in my experience ha ha).

What is an essential requirement is: willingness on both sides.

At risk of singling out a particular group, enquiries to us seem to suggest there are often confrontation events in nursing. Many reasons come to mind. Nurses are often under great pressure and on occasion a nurse may come into conflict with coworkers and managers as a result of tiredness and stress. Training in communication skills and

Don’t attempt to bring the co-worker to their knees. Instead, bring them to the table.